Solstice failures

My series of goddess photographs was almost entirely derailed by the pandemic, but even ones I was largely prepared for didn’t quite make it to the deadline somehow. I photographed Gaia last summer in anticipation of posting it on the summer solstice this year, but I didn’t quite make it. I saw it in my calendar last week and tried to budget enough time to get the image ready, but it didn’t work out. And that’s okay. I’m still really excited to share it with ya’ll. There are only so many spoons to be had.

Etsy Shopping

After much encouragement, I’ve finally opened an Etsy shop for my art!

With the challenges of my employment situation (which is the nicest possible way to say I’m in too much pain to work), this seemed like a really great option!

I’ve put up a lot of plants so far in hopes that they’re of broad enough appeal that I’ll sell a few and be able to buy some more groceries. It’s been working a bit!

Nothing to do but keep trying, right?

Please Check out The Dreaming World Shop on Etsy!

White Peony on black paper

Vulnerability

Being a creative person and blogging, both require a certain amount of openness and vulnerability. If you ask any of the people I have dated in the past, you would quickly find out that those are not things that come easily to me.

I struggle.

There’s a fine line between being truly one’s self with whole and open recklessness, and being a genuine and honest person. I am comfortable saying I am an honest person. I know I mean what I say, and I take others at their word.

I am terrified of being vulnerable. I have been hurt so much, that openness feels like asking to be traumatized. And I’m full up on trauma tyvm.

What happens then, is that something will happen, I’ll take time to process it and withdraw. Then something else happens and I’m already withdrawn. Which means I’m hurting again, but now I’m also very much alone.

In my life, the escalation is fast, and dramatic.

After the fourth or fifth trauma, I’m devastated, alone, out of options, and putting any energy into artistic things – stuff that makes life worth living – is impossible. More than impossible. It’s a distant joke.

Creating is one of the most important things in my life. When I can’t focus on it, when my thoughts are a desperate handful of soggy crackers, it’s like I’ve lost myself. I don’t know how to get back from here, but I know I will. I always do.

I will always carry these burdens. This most recent trauma, will be with me forever. A very deep scar across my heart. It has taken my faith in inherant goodness, a piece of my identity, a part of my fragile joy, and a slice of my light. I’m still working through how I move forward from it.

I need to create. Even when my well is dry. Because it’s usually barren.

Houdini’s Masquerade art

I finished an illustration for my story, Houdini’s Masquerade. Please enjoy!

LilaTasha

Daphne and Leua art

I drew an illustration to go with my short story, The Ballad of Daphne and Leucippos. Originally, I planned on having it done when the story was released but that ended up being overly optomistic. Even a little sketch takes some time to get done! Thank you to everyone out there for all your support!

Daphne and Leua

Daphne Cover Reveal

It’s finally cover reveal day! I couldn’t be more thrilled. My short story The Ballad of Daphne and Leucippos is being released in the anthology Mythologically Torqued Volume II by Torquere Press. We have a cover for the anthology itself and a cover for my individual story. It’s a double cover reveal event! Let’s get to it, shall we?

mythologicallytorquediiFinalCover

theballadofdaphneandleucippos1400